He's having discipline problems in school. His teacher says in higher grades, the offences would be grounds for suspension. His daycare says he won't listen to simple commands and replies with "I can't do it" when we all know he very well can... I can't bring him to work because he takes too much of the time away from the other keeps because he needs so much attention.Now I ask myself, what I'm sure every mother asks herself at one point... "what did I do wrong"... I feel myself starting to cry over ruining his school experiences because maybe i wasn't disciplined enough, maybe i let him wrestle too much, maybe i let him play video games that fostered the want to build Lego "guns" ...
I do my best, and when I don't get up right away in the morning to fix him a healthy breakfast, I feel guilty. When I just throw in some bear paws cookies for a snack instead of fruit like all the other kids... Why won't my kid eat fruit? why wont my kid eat vegetables? or sandwiches that don't contain Cheezewhiz...
I stare in amazement at all the other kids who can write their name, hold a pencil correctly, listen to people the first time they are asked, not the third... Am I disappointed in Elden for not being able to do these things? Not in the slightest little teeny tiny bit, no. I blame myself for not pushing harder. For not explaining correctly, for not teaching him! My son is an amazing little boy. He can draw a spaceship and write the number 1 and 4... he can draw circles and give any kid a run for their money on any Xbox game I'm sure... but right now, I'm upset because he wont be able to attend a Christmas function because his behaviour is out of control, and its my fault his missing out because I'm a softy. I love my boy and I let him get away with more than i should. I'm sorry that I'm addicted to your smile, and when you tell me I'm the best mommy ever for letting you crawl into bed with me. I'm sorry that I let you go until I reached the elusive number "3" when you were disobeying... But I wouldn't trade you or your mischievous self for anything in the world Elden. I love you Chickaboo and screw the rest. We'll show em baby.
3 comments:
Quite simply, children learn from their home environments and adapt coping strategies and habits from their parents.
How is your relationship with your significant other? Children have an amazing way of acting out subconsciously and drawing attention to themselves in order to divert focus from a failing relationship in hopes of the parents staying together.
Stop worrying. I worried about my oldest. She didn't do those things as when she was young. She was behind the other kids and needed help in school. The other kids were ahead of her. She didn't listen as well as I wanted her to. I always feel guilty about what I don't do with all my children, whether it be lunches or activities. I blamed myself for not spending as much time helping her with schoolwork etc.
But my daughter is now 14. She is in high school and working at her grade level and getting B and A's. She has caught up. I realized it doesn't matter who prints their name first...they usually all do it eventually.
Thanks Jennifer for your helpul and kind words! Its so nice to know im not the ONLY mom who felt this way....
Annon. We actually have a stable home enviroment beilive it or not. I am not currently with his biological father, but he does see him almost every weekend, and we are friends. My son has never seen me and his father together because we seperated before the baby was born. My husband and my son get along great aswell. We deal with problems and tense situations away from elden, kids shouldnt have to see their parents fighting and ive always believed that. So I dont think our home life is the problem other than my giving in too often, which I have stopped! *pat on back* thanks for your insight!
-Lisa
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