Welcome to Dec. 2009

Haha im at school right now, and figured id post, sitting with Dave, Paige and Chris! didn't even remember I had a blog!

Tims doing the tags again, Im still working for buns plus a crafting class... 3rd semester of highschool (even though I graduated last June ;) ) just signed up for Media, DRAMA and comm tech. should be a fun semester!

Elden is growing like a weed, including his little brain, which can now read, write and talk back to mommy!

Have met a bunch of awsome people this year and made some friends I hope to keep for life. Dave, Nick, Maura, Paige, Maxim, Chris, Sean, James (yeah shut yup the lot of you, he's still important to me) Tammy, Mike... there are so many! and a bunch of cool people who just make school so damn fun, i never wanna leave, but ill eventually have to start my life... still debating on an art career or teaching, give me your thoughts if you have any!

cya m'loves and don't forget to smile!
-L

Haven't Been Here in Awhile...

Hmm I haven't posted here in a really long time...

Things that happened since my last post?

1. Divorced
2. Graduating high school
3. Seeing a really great guy.
4. Happy
5. Broke

Recent creative outlets? Making random cute things for really great guy. Photography and sketching stuff at random on random things...

Elden's doing OK too... still have behavioral issues but we're working on them.

Merry Christmas all :)

Week Recap

This week was pretty big, I started School! First time in 13 years that I've been in a classroom. Really not as bad as I thought it would be, seeing as most of the students are almost my age. I'm taking college level english. So If my writing becomes any better, you know why! I'm also taking communications & game design and Art.

So my subsidy is safe. We're both going to school. Life is good!

Someone told me at work, good things come in threes, So im thinking I got all the classes I wanted (one) I got a call for a job I really wanted, but just couldnt take (2) and I won a prize on Nic Howards blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (3) !!!! http://nichoward.blogspot.com/ woo hoo! I love her stuff...

So hopefully this weekend im gonna get some scrapping done... I'm told that I have to actually upload some layouts so people know what I do... HeeHee!

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Obsessed!!!!

We have a new member of our family now! His name is Sammy and he's Eldens new webkinz pet! isn't it cuuuuuuute? Its soft and cuddly and he brought it in today for show and tell. It was "S" day, so we put some spiderman socks on Sammy for extra "s" ness and off they went! I absolutely adore this website, there is NO violence... no worries that hes gonna click on some link to go somewhere weird... it had trivia and math and memory games! Even I love to play it! we're in the process of making Sammy his house and im logging on every day to make Sammy the kinz cash to support my dicekinz habit... He was brought to us by way of gift from my Aunt Molly. so THANKS AUNT MOLLY! we love it so much!

So today Elden had a great day at school, there was nothing in his book that said he hurt anyone, he listened... PHEW great news! We are all very proud of him for pulling it together today, the last few days were a trial :)

more good new, i got some child support today YAY! Its all going to the bank until SOMEONE calls me back for a job! Ive applied everywhere I can think of that i can actually do! Bakeries, craft stores, scrap stores... If anyone has any leads on places looking for people dont be afraid to tell me! I have been looking for awhile and I only have a month until my subsidy runs out... gah?

TGIF m'loves!

-Lisa

todaaaaaaaaay

Well, today was frustrating and then not so frustrating...

Good news is Dads money problems may be solved with a screw up from the government, yay!

Bad news, Ontario child support has no arrears when the father had no fucking job! thats right folks, if your baby's daddy decides he'd rather be on welfare then have a job, he doesnt have to pay you support! In my case, I have been keeping track of when he pays and when he doesnt with a calender. Its been about a year since ive seen a dime...

Much to my surprise, our court order states he has to pay me 120$ a month, which hey, you know what? that is NOTHING compared to most people... that buys him his lunches for a week... but i still dont get that, because since 1997, they made the law state that if dad doesnt have a job, he doesnt have to pay and it doesnt build up... WTF? so he gets to be daddy, loving caring daddy and I get to support our child FULLY.

Now that being said, I would never forbid his from seeing his father, hes a good guy other than the no working part and not calling when hes gonna be late or not show up part. I also wouldnt wanna involve FRO because that would screw him up even more and put a wedge between our amicable relationship... So whats a girl to do? if you havent guessed, *I* have to get a job that supports our family with no help from the government. I also have to have a job so I can keep my child care subsidy, the only help I can have...

Now, this week I have a job interview at a local store that I would L-O-V-E to work at, because I need to make at least 20 hours a week to keep Eldens subsidy. So keep your fingers crossed for me! I would just be so happy If i got this job! Thanks for listening to my rant :)

I didn't know people actually read this, but now im informed a few family members read it and a few not. Hopefully at some point I'll upload some of my artwork, scrapping stuff... cards ect. for you all to enjoy... until then I'll leave you with this supercute picture of my kids... this picture just shows how much Elden adores his big sister, he idolizes that girl!

Am I a bad Mother?

I know, he's cute isn't he? So why, I ask myself... Why won't he just listen, why won't he just do what his teachers and I ask of him?

He's having discipline problems in school. His teacher says in higher grades, the offences would be grounds for suspension. His daycare says he won't listen to simple commands and replies with "I can't do it" when we all know he very well can... I can't bring him to work because he takes too much of the time away from the other keeps because he needs so much attention.

Now I ask myself, what I'm sure every mother asks herself at one point... "what did I do wrong"... I feel myself starting to cry over ruining his school experiences because maybe i wasn't disciplined enough, maybe i let him wrestle too much, maybe i let him play video games that fostered the want to build Lego "guns" ...

I do my best, and when I don't get up right away in the morning to fix him a healthy breakfast, I feel guilty. When I just throw in some bear paws cookies for a snack instead of fruit like all the other kids... Why won't my kid eat fruit? why wont my kid eat vegetables? or sandwiches that don't contain Cheezewhiz...

I stare in amazement at all the other kids who can write their name, hold a pencil correctly, listen to people the first time they are asked, not the third... Am I disappointed in Elden for not being able to do these things? Not in the slightest little teeny tiny bit, no. I blame myself for not pushing harder. For not explaining correctly, for not teaching him! My son is an amazing little boy. He can draw a spaceship and write the number 1 and 4... he can draw circles and give any kid a run for their money on any Xbox game I'm sure... but right now, I'm upset because he wont be able to attend a Christmas function because his behaviour is out of control, and its my fault his missing out because I'm a softy. I love my boy and I let him get away with more than i should. I'm sorry that I'm addicted to your smile, and when you tell me I'm the best mommy ever for letting you crawl into bed with me. I'm sorry that I let you go until I reached the elusive number "3" when you were disobeying... But I wouldn't trade you or your mischievous self for anything in the world Elden. I love you Chickaboo and screw the rest. We'll show em baby.

Well, I've been wrapped up in Christmas cheer lately... (ha ha) making cards, cookies and all that random stuff! well...

I have been stalking http://www.timholtz.typepad.com/... I LOVE what he brings to the table, I was obsessed with his distress inks, now I know ill be obsessed with this new Grunge board... If you havent checked out his blog yet, I'm sure its a keeper, and hes doing a "12 tags of Christmas" run, with techniques and prizes, fun for all!

Elden is at daycare right now, so Its cookie day here at my house... making MANY cookies for my girls at Buns tomorow... I hope they like chocolate dipped ginger snaps... sooo yummy, and spicy and smelling like Christmas!

If i actually get the chance, ill take pictures of all these cards ive made... having fun, but totally realized AFTER that my pictures this year are NOT landscape, they are portrait... and i made the cards landscape... meaning, the pictures are up and down and the cards are left to right... Martha would not be happy... but who knows! maaaaaaaaybe ill just redo them? sure! ah well...

happy holidays all you politically correct people!
Merry Christmas to the rest ;)

-Lisa